I read once that Winston Churchill, who was in his prime a weepy guy, began to cry more and more over the years. He cried constantly during movies of all genres. He cried at the thought of a loyal dog returning to its master through the snow. Eventually just saying a word like “honour” to him would make him cry. I have always feared that this condition spread to me as soon as I became aware of it. Even now I am thinking of phrases like “Old Glory” and “the last redoubt” to test my eyes. I know for a fact that just remembering meaningless bits of pop culture will bring me to the verge of tears. Explaining the plot of the Star Trek: TNG episode “The Inner Light” to someone else. Thinking hard about the original “Chopper” issue of Judge Dredd. The bell section of Andrei Rublev or the end of Breaker Morant or the climax of this one Korean boxing flick. I don’t even need to use my own memories to almost cry—I can just remember dumb Guy Shit from the movies. Getting old sucks!